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I was supposed to do this yesterday but then my work got in my way.

“I want to have a baby when I get married.” Me, 2004.

“I do not want to have a baby atleast till a few years of my marriage or maybe I do not want to get married altogether”. Me, 2011.

This thought occurred to me yesterday when I read This post on Topiclessbar’s blog. And later I decided I should dissect this.

I live in the part of the world where you usually get married with your parents consent or your parents choose someone for you and you can give your opinion on whether you like the person or no or in some cases you just say yes to whatever your parents have found for you. So back in 2004 I was young and cheerful and was in College. Was pretty much optimistic and excited about everything in life. I should not forget to mention that since I was studying Fine Arts so I usually spent most of my time with the same faces around me in every class and the class was not exactly a class but a studio where you could sit however you want, listen to some light music while you were painting or designing stuff and professors and teachers were more like your friends. So one day we were just sitting, working, chattering and one of our teacher was there with us and tour conversation somehow ended up on the topic of marriage and babies. Most of the girls said that they did not want to get married and when I was asked if I wanted to I instantly said yes I will and I will have a baby too. I did not even wait for a second to think about it. I was dead sure about that.
I actively participated in everything that was supposed to be done in order to find me the right person. All of my colleagues who never wanted to get married, actually got married and now have babies whereas I never found the right person for myself.

Time passed by and I eventually got tired of the fruitless efforts. I finished my studies and started working and as more time passes by I now think of marriage as a smothering knot that makes your life hell and by the end of 2011 I thought In case I get married I would not want to have a baby till a few years of my marriage. Its a big responsibility.

It is funny that how in life you are once excited about something and later with passage of time you totally oppose that specific idea.